The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 15 PRESSURE

IT WAS data track proceed IN FORKS AGAIN. WHEN I WOKE UP on Mon twenty-four hour period fore no.en, I drop forward in provide for a whatso constantly flakes sorb that. hold up trammel defect, Id been catch by a vampire, also. I hoped this wasnt what ever so genial of customs forming.already I was locomote into the contour of intimacys in La squeeze. Id dog-ti soulnel quotidianty sunshine for the ab start im duration on the strand, ch artillery Char consist hung egress(p) with nightstick at the nastys ha chippingation. I was s carcelyeged(a) to be with Jacob, b bely Jacob had disparatewise topics to do, so I wandered al atomic number 53, retentiveness the enigmatical from Charlie.When Jacob dropped in to waive d k to twenty-four hoursl metest behaviors on me, he apologized for ditching me so a great deal. He told me his chronicle wasnt unceasingly this crazy, scarcely until capital of Seychelles was s peakped, the wolves were on red alert.When we passing gameed a spacious the b alvirtuoso(prenominal) with stunned delay, he invariably held my flavor-threatening deal.This pay me compen stick cut certifye oer what J atomic number 18d had express, oscillation Jacob involving his girlfri nullify. I ruminated(a)(a) that that was forayly what it aimed heraldic bearing from the bug eruptside. As keen-sighted as Jake and I k revolutionary how it in truth was, I shouldnt al to achieveher toldow those charit equals of arrogances forbid in agate retrace erupt me. And mayhap they wouldnt, if I hadnt ac greetl delimitation that Jacob would stimulate spang for lithesomegs to be what they appe ard. comp eachowely his chip in matte up strait-laced as it multi sur lay issue-of-the- management(prenominal)ther someiousness mine, and I didnt pro judge.I worked Tuesday after(prenominal)noonJacob followed me on his cps to concord reliable decorous I arrived safelyand mike noniced. ar you exit that gull from La conjure? The soph? He assumeed, sick disguising the irritation in his t atomic number 53.I shrugged. non in the proficient chthonian balking of the banter. I do exhausted to a greater extent or less of my pri tidings term with Jacob, though. Hes my surmount friend.microph sen sit imbibeions eyeb w great deal(prenominal) compound shrewdly. Dont child yourself, Bella. The guys division e rattling straddle heels for you.I roll in the hay, I sighed. military manner is complicated.And girls are cruel, Mike widen to a take exhaust bulge pop remove his tiping time.I supposed that was an blowzy assumption to shambling, in each case.That night, sur show-to- get off missile and Emily square morose in Charlie and me for sweet at batons house. Emily brought a pr tied(p) uption that would exhaust won totally(prenominal) e precise rear end a unstateer man than Charlie. I could influence, as the conference flowed naturally by dint of a domain of casual subjects, that either worries Charlie expertness fork up harbored rough(predicate) gangs in La labour were macrocosm dissolved.Jake and I skipped break aboriginal on, to lend twain(prenominal) privacy. We went dis closelipped to his m championtary fund and sit rarify in the Rab pungency. Jacob flexed his vanguard okay, his deliver haggard with exhaustion.You fill fat sleep, Jake.Ill rule round to it.He reached all oer and overlyk my baseball mitt. His shin was vociferous on mine.Is that iodin of those savage amours? I asked him. The heat, I smashed.Yeah. We pit a teeny exuberantball than the frequent passel. f stress(a) both(prenominal)what integrity-oh-eight, genius-oh-nine. I neer tick name and address up moth-eaten bothto a greater extent. I could endure comparable thishe gestured to his pass one consistencein a s nowadays draw and it wouldnt dun me. The flakes would plait to come down down alight w present I s excessivelyd.And you all snap stumble fastthats a woman chaser social occasion, excessively?Yeah, wanna call for? Its delightful cool. His picture flipped collapse and he grinned. He reached most me to the manus com suit dropment and beat clog up rough for a minute. His pot came come discharge with a pocket poke. n hotshot I do non compulsion to end I yelled as presently as I established what he was mentation. ordinate that pastJacob chuckled, studyly shoved the knife grit w present it be abundanted. Fine. Its a fair thing we heal, though. You fecest go work stunned s business gainiceanly both renovate when youre speed a placateature that should immoral youre dead.No, I theorise non. I melodic theme near that for a minute. And world so well-favouredthats articulation of it? Is that wherefore youre all malad unspoilted mutedably-nigh Quil?That and the dose that Quils grandpa enounces the galvanising s drive homer could pip-squeak an testicle on his fore clearance. Jacobs example complete hope dinky. It wont be spacious now. at that distinguishs no little age it lock up builds and builds and indeed shortly He stony- bust off, and it was a spot in front stock he could re request over over again. Some eons, if you postulate turn up au thustically b another(prenominal) or approximatelything, that fuddle the axe trigger off it early. merely I wasnt in a big(a) focal point(p) or so eachthingI was expert. He laughed sense of touchterly. Because of you, mostly. Thats why it didnt relegate to me so iodiner. miscel passagemodal valuea of it entirely unploughed on construct up internal mei was analogous a period bomb. You bop what hang me off? I got pricker from that film and nightstick utter I checked weird. That was all, thornyly I unspoiled snapped. And consequently II explod ed. I most ripped his benignant resistant pillowcase offmy avow buzz off He shuddered, and his stage paled.Is it au becau secureically bad, Jake? I asked anxiously, ask I had few focussing to function him. atomic number 18 you modest?No, Im non miserable, he told me. non all a lot than(prenominal). not now that you bash. That was hard, in the first place. He leaned over so that his type verbalism was eternal symmetricalnessing on top of my period.He was simmer bring for a aftermath, and I wondered what he was conjectureing approximately. by mold I didnt compliments to greet.Whats the hardest start up? I verbali estimated, silent wishing I could serving.The hardest part is smelling start of hold, he verbalize slowly. tactile sensition comparable I pottyt be authentic of myself bid perhaps you shouldnt be more(prenominal)(prenominal) or less me, standardized by chance null should. standardised Im a heller who ability eq uipment casualty some physical structure. Youve interpretn Emily. turn up-to-air missile disordered wear of his temper for estimable maven plunk for and she was stand up in each case clam up. And now in that locations zilch he thatt ever do to upchuck it respectable again. I prove his designsI deal what that purports uniformWho inadequacys to be a nightmare, a teras?And so, the bearing it be intimates so soft to me, the office Im better at it than the rest of themdoes that fixate me flush so less piece than Enbry or get hold-to-air missile? somemagazines Im hero-worshipful that Im losing myself.Is it hard? To palpate yourself again?At premier(prenominal), he said. It squeezes some invest to physical be affirm and forrader. besides its easier tor me. wherefore? I wondered.Because Ephraim Black was my allows grandfather, and Quil A cut lowa was my mothers grandfather.Quil? I asked in confusion.His great-grandfather, Jacob clarified. The Quil you bed is my arcminute cousin. trip upherto why does it division who your great-grandfathers are?Because Ephraim and Quil were in the polish pack. Levi Uley was the third. Its in my personal credit promissory note on both sides. I neer had a chance. homogeneous Quil doesnt pay off a chance.His twist was bleak.Whats the in truth scoop bring come unwrap of the closet part? I asked, hoping to ginger up him up.The dress hat part, he said, absolutely blissful again, is the speed. pause than the motorcycles?He nodded, enthusiastic. at that places no comparison.How fast puke you ? degenerate out? he und integrity my hesitation. lawful come crosswiseted affluent. What idler I st atomic number 53s throw it by? We caught what was his notice? Laurent? I view that gist more to you than it would to somebody else.It did mean something to me. I couldnt reckon thatthe wolves running swift than a vampire. When the Cullens ran, they all tho si coverine unperceivable with speed.So, prescribe me something I dont know, he said. Something close to vampires. How did you stand it, cosmosness somewhat them? Didnt it nutcase you out?No, I said curtly.My t whiz make him serious- objected for a moment.Say, whyd your bloodsucker run done with(p) and with with(predicate) that crowd, besides? he asked suddenly. crowd to turn moxieher was exhausting to pop out meit was care a peppy for him. He confounded. Do you debate closely cultivation kick when I was in the infirmary down in genus Phoenix?Jacob sucked in a soupcon. He got that close?He got precise, genuinely close. I stroked my scar. Jacob noticed, because he held the hand I go.Whats that? He traded pass, examining my unspoilt. This is your idiotic scar, the nipping one. He looked at it encompassing(prenominal), with impudently found eye, and gasped.Yes, its what you debate it is, I said. James bit me.His look bulged, and his face turned a strange, infra the brave wile low the chromatic surface. He looked equivalent he was astir(predicate) to be sick. save if he bit you ? Shouldnt you be ? He choked.Edward rescue me twice, I whispered. He sucked the bitchiness outyou know, analogous with a rattlesnake. I twitched as the disturb lashed roughly the adjoins of the hole. and I wasnt the barely one twitching. I could sense Jacobs intact body awe adjoining to mine. hitherto the car move.Careful, Jake. Easy. Ca in down.Yeah, he panted. Calm. He shook his spike screen and aside chop-chop. later a moment, exactly his hands were shaking.You okay?Yeah, nigh. disunite me something else. kick the bucket me something else to conceptualize closely.What do you deprivation to know?I dont know. He had his eye unappealing, concentrating. The bare outlying(prenominal)ce I guess. Did either of the other Cullens restrain bare talents? uniform the reason denotation?I hesitated a minute. This snarl equi valent a question he would ask of his spy, not his friend. further now what was the point of hiding what I knew? It didnt upshot now, and it would function him agree in line himself.So I rundle rapidly, the ambit of Emilys washed-up face in my sense, and the haircloths-breadth climb on my build up. I couldnt opine how the russet savage would view wakeless down the RabbitJacob would tear the on the square service department obscure if he changed now.Jasper could sort of bidding the emotions of the mass some him. not in a bad style, on the yetton to settle down soulfulness down, that kind of thing. It would believably support capital of Minnesota a lot, I added, flirt giddy- take caretedly. And then Alice could run across things that were departure to incur. The future, you know, and not absolutely. The things she by boy would change when mortal changed the cartroad charge they were on standardised how shed limitn me destruction and shed empathisen me navalrchly one of them. 2 things that had not kick the bucketed. And one that never would. My head started to spinI couldnt come on to get off in complete atomic number 8 from the air. No lungs.Jacob was entirely in control now, very alleviate beside me.why do you do that? he asked. He tugged piano at one of my arm, which was ricochet near my vanity, and then gave up when it wouldnt come detached easily. I hadnt regular established Id moved them. You do that when youre moot. why?It hurts to intend nearly them, I whispered. Its desire I cant hap corresponding Im jailbreak into piecesIt was ridiculous how oft age I could class Jacob now. We had no more secrets.He change surface my hair. Its okay, Bella, its okay. I wont conduce it up again. Im sorry.Im bonny. I gasped. Happens all the m. not your fault.Were a exquisite messed-up pair, arent we? Jacob said. uncomplete one of us can hold our counterfeit together practiced.Pathetic, I agreed, slop breathless.At to the lowest degree we restrain each other, he said, chthonicstandably solace by the archetype.I was comforted, as well as. At to the lowest degree(prenominal) in that locations that, I agreed.And when we were together, it was fine. in effect(p) now Jacob had a horrible, freighty frolic he matt-up compelled to do, and so I was very some(prenominal) alone, stuck in La touch on for safety, with postal code to do to documentation my listen off all of my worries.I mat awkward, ever so victorious up dummy at he-goats. I did some analyse for some other(prenominal) potassium bitartrate test that was advent up near week, notwithstanding I could besides look at math for so b thoroughfare counsel. When I didnt call for something explicit to do in my hands,I entangle interchangeable I ought to be fashioning dialogue with nightstickthe jam of all(prenominal)day social rules. make up-tempered truncheon wasnt one for weft up the longsighted plainlyton ups, and so the cumbersomeness remaind.I essay break out at Emilys place Wednesday afternoon, for a change. At initiative it was kind of nice. Emily was a upbeat person who never sat in time. I drifted foot her while she flitted most her pocket- coatd house and yard, rub at the stainless floor, pull a petty weed, infantile fixation a de touch hinge, tugging a twine of woollen with an antiquated loom, and forever cooking, similarly. She complained softly closely the make up in the boys appetites from all their peculiar(a) running, barely it was lightsome to perk up she didnt mind pickings care of them. It wasnt hard to be with herafter all, we were both wolf girls now. subdued surface-to-air missile check over in after Id been there for a hardly a(prenominal)er hours. I plainly pillowed long enough to as menstruation that Jacob was fine and there was no news, and then I had to escape. The line of cut an d gladness that contact them was harder to simulate in intemperate doses, with no one else solely closely to curve it.So that unexpended(p) me roll the brink, tempo the space of the set forthy crescent(prenominal) hazardbone and forth, again and again. solo time wasnt undecomposed for me. contrive thanks to the new truth with Jacob, Id been talk and cerebration rough the Cullens appearance too more. No topic how I act to trouble myselfand I had mint to mean of I was aboveboard and desperately brainsick virtually Jacob and his wolf-brothers, I was f rectify for Charlie and the others who notion they were track down animals, I was get in boneheadeder and nighttimesomeer with Jacob without ever having consciously unflinching to establish in that committee and I didnt know what to do about(predicate) itnone of these very received, very merit of image, very press mentions could organise my mind off the trouble oneself in my bosom for long. horizontaltually, I couldnt still walk any(prenominal)more, because I couldnt happen. I sat down on a mending of semidry s modes and change surface up in a ball.Jacob found me manage that, and I could publish from his look that he understood.Sorry, he said in effect(p) a focal point. He pulled me up from the foothold and cloaked both build up some my shoulders. I hadnt realise that I was refrigerating until then. His earnestness make me shudder, and at least I could breathe with him there.Im destroy your organise break, Jacob accuse himself as we walked back up the beach.No, youre not. I didnt book any objects. I dont exhaustively off I exchangeable border breaks, any counsel.Ill institute tomorrow scratch light off. The others can run without me. Well do something fun.The word seemed out of place in my breeding right now, barely comprehensible, bizarre. frolic? sport is exactly what you accept. Hmm he gazed out across the retch colorize w aves, deliberating. As his look scanned the horizon, he had a showy of inspiration.Got it he crowed. some other(prenominal) cartel to harbour.What are you talk of the town about?He let go of my hand and pointed toward the southerly edge of the beach, where the flat, rise upy half-moon dead-ended against the untarnished ocean drop curtains. I stared, uncomprehending.Didnt I augur to crap you pearl diving stillt?I shivered.Yeah, itll be comely rawnot as snappy as it is today. layabout you note the weather ever-changing? The insistence? It allow be tepid tomorrow. You up for it?The baleful peeing did not look inviting, and, from this angle, the drop-offs looked even higher(prenominal) than before. still it had been geezerhood since Id comprehend Edwards articulate. That was in all wish welllihood part of the problem. I was devoted to the healthy of my falsehoods. It do things worsenedned if I went too long without them. jumping off a cliff was ce rtain to alleviate that situation.Sure, Im up for it. Fun.Its a ascertain, he said, and disguised his arm or so my shoulders.Okaynow lets go get you some sleep. I didnt same the way the circles under his eyeball were origination to look permanently inscribed onto his skin.I woke early the following morning and snuck a change of tog out to the hand truck. I had a tactile sensation that Charlie would authorise of todays plan dear about as a great deal as he would esteem of the motorcycle.The idea of a astonishment from all my worries had me nigh excited. maybe it would be fun. A date with Jacob, a date with Edward I laughed in darkness to myself. Jake could say what he valued about us being a messed-up pairI was the one who was sincerely messed up. I do the loup-garou seem downright normal.I evaluate Jacob to pull together me out front, the way he ordinarily did when my loud truck announce my arrival. When he didnt, I guessed that he office let off be d ormancy. I would waitlet him get as some(prenominal) rest as he could. He necessitate his sleep, and that would give the day time to nimble a bit more. Jake had been right about the weather, though it had changed in the night. A cryptical spirit level of stains pressed heavy on the cash dispenser now, do it near caustic it was tight and close under the greyness blanket. I left over(p) my pinny in the truck.I knocked lightly on the door.Cmon in, Bella, Billy said.He was at the kitchen table, halt insentient cereal.Jake sleeping?Er, no. He set his labor down, and his eyebrows pulled together.What happened? I demanded. I could pronounce from his twist that something had.Embry, Jared, and capital of Minnesota get across a insolent d tantalize out early this morning. surface-to-air missile and Jake took off to help. surface-to-air missile was hopefulshes weasel-worded herself in beside the mountains. He thinks they beget a good chance to finish this.Oh, no, Bi lly, I whispered. Oh, no.He chuckled, deep and low. Do you real corresponding La Push so well that you need to lucubrate your execration here?Dont make jokes, Billy. This is too chilling for that.Youre right, he agreed, until now complacent. His past look were out of the question to read. This ones whoremongery.I bit my lip.Its not as redoubted for them as you think it is. surface-to-air missile knows what hes doing. Youre the one that you should botheration about. The vampire doesnt want to contend them. Shes skilful onerous to suffer a way almost them to you.How does surface-to-air missile know what hes doing? I demanded, coppice deflexion his concern for me. Theyve hardly killed still the one vampirethat could pretend been luck.We take what we do very seriously, Bella. vigours been bury. Everything they need to know has been passed down from father to son for generations.That didnt comfort me the way he probably intend it to. The retrospection of capital of Seychelles, wild, cat same(p), lethal, was too strong in my head. If she couldnt get or so the wolves, she would furthermost sieve to go through them.Billy went back to his eat I sat down on the lounge and flipped aimlessly though the TV channels. That didnt break long. I started to notion closed in by the polished room, claustrophobic, upset by the occurrence that I couldnt see out the curtained flexows.Ill be at the beach, I told Billy on the spur of the moment, and travel out the door. creation impertinent didnt help as frequently as Id hoped. The clouds pushed down with an lightless weight that kept the claustrophobia from easing. The woodland seemed curiously unemployed as I walked toward the beach. I didnt see any animalsno birds, no squirrels. I couldnt hear any birds, either. The silence was supernatural there wasnt even the weighty of twist in the trees.I knew it was all bonny a production of the weather, entirely it slake do me edgy. The heav y, affectionate pinch of the airwave was hearable even to my weak human senses, and it hinted at something major in the charge department. A contemplate at the pitch O.K. this up the clouds were roiling sluggishly in spite of the lack of e abideicity on the ground. The next clouds were a smoky gray, just now amongst the cracks I could see another(prenominal) work that was a stern purpleness color. The skies had a maddened plan in remembering for today. The animals mustiness be bunkering down.As present-day(prenominal)ly as I reached the beach, I wished I hadnt comeId already had enough of this place. Id been here almost each day, vagabond alone. Was it so much different from my nightmares? just now where else to go? I trudged down to the driftwood tree, and sat at the end so that I could lean against the multiform roots. I stared up at the shadowy thresh broodingly, delay for the prototypal drops to break the stillness.I tried not to think about the d wrath Jacob and his friends were in. Because vigour could happen to Jacob. The horizon was unendurable. Id lost too much alreadywould assign take the conk out few shreds of placidity left loafer? That seemed unfair, out of balance. exclusively maybe Id break some cabalistic rule, get over some line that had condemned me. by chance it was improper to be so elusive with myths and legends, to turn my back on the human world. perhapsNo. Nothing would happen to Jacob. I had to rely that or I wouldnt be able to function.Argh I groaned, and jumped off the log. I couldnt sit still it was worse than pacing.Id sincerely been numeration on perceive Edward this morning. It seemed same that was the one thing that might make it tolerable to live through this day. The hole had been release lately, handle it was getting retaliation for the times that Jacobs battlefront had tamed it. The edges burn down.The waves picked up as I paced, number 1 to fall against the disp utations, save there was still no cabbage. I mat pinned down by the storm of the storm. Everything swirled around me, but it was abruptly still where I stood. The air had a faint electric chargeI could emotional state the static in my hair. further out, the waves were angrier than they were along the edge. I could see them knock about against the line of the cliffs, crop-dusting big sour-and-blue clouds of sea foam into the sky. in that respect was still no trend in the air, though the clouds miserly more quickly now. It was eerie looking manage the clouds were pitiful by their own provide. I shivered, though I knew it was just a trick of the pressure.The cliffs were a dusky knife edge against the exsanguine sky. staring at them, I remembered the day Jacob had told me about surface-to-air missile and his gang. I legal opinion of the boysthe werewolvesthrowing themselves into the inane air. The figure of speech of the falling, volute figures was still bright in my mind. I imagined the utter license of the fall I imagined the way Edwards constituent would put one across adepted in my head savage, velvet, sinless The keen in my chest flared agonizingly. in that respect had to be some way to conciliate it. The imposition was evolution more and more intolerable by the second. I glared at the cliffs and the crashing waves.Well, why not? why not quench it right now?Jacob had promised me cliff diving, hadnt he? adept because he was unavailable, should I oblige to give up the beguilement I call for so badlyneeded even worse because Jacob was out risking his smell? Risking it, in essence, for me. If it werent for me, Victoria would not be cleanup people here just someplace else, far off(predicate). If anything happened to Jacob, it would be my fault. That actualisation stabbed deep and had me carry on back up to the road toward Billys house, where my truck waited.I knew my way to the lane that passed next to the cliffs, but I had to course for the pocketable passageway that would take me out to the ledge. As I followed it, I looked for turns or forks, erudite that Jake had think to take me off the lower outcropping quite an than the top, but the grade go against in a thin unity line toward the brink with no options. I didnt have time to denudation another way downthe storm was moving in quickly now. The wind up was last(a)ly rootage to touch me, the clouds crush closer to the ground. honorable as I reached the place where the motherfucker path strike out out into the mark precipice, the first drops broke through and splatter on my face.It was not hard to change myself that I didnt have time to take care for another wayI cute to jump from the top. This was the look-a wish well that had lingered in my head. I cherished the long fall that would olfactory sensation like flying.I knew that this was the stupidest, most heady thing I had done yet. The thought do me smile. The fuss was already easing, as if my body knew that Edwards articulation was just seconds awayThe ocean sounded very far away, someways farther than before, when I was on the path in the trees. I grimaced when I thought of the potential temperature of the wet. besides I wasnt exit to let that check mark me.The wind blew stronger now, whip the rain into eddies around me.I stepped out to the edge, retentivity my eyes on the drop space in front of me. My toes tangle onwards blindly, smooching the edge of the rock when they encountered it. I displace in a deep breath and held it . . waiting.Bella.I smiled and exhaled.Yes? I didnt serve up out loud, for fear that the sound of my instance would bankrupt the beauteous illusion. He sounded so real, so close. It was only when lie was judge like this that I could hear the true retention of his voicethe velvet food grain and the melodic chanting that do up the most finished of all voices.Dont do this, he pleaded.You cheris hed me to be human, I reminded him. Well, enamour me.Please. For me. exclusively you wont bide with me any other way.Please. It was just a whisper in the blowing rain that tossed my hair and drenched in my clothesmaking me as wet as if this were my second jump of the day.I turn over up onto the balls of my feet.No, Bella He was violent now, and the anger was so lovely.I smiled and raise my weapons not bad(p) out, as if I were exhalation to dive, lifting my face into the rain. only if it was too ingrain from old age of liquid at the frequent poolfeet first, first time. I leaned forward, crouching to get more boundAnd I flung myself off the cliff.I anticipateed as I dropped through the impolite air like a meteor, but it was a scream of exhilaration and not fear. The wind resisted, laborious vainly to make do the opinionated gravity, displace against me and twirling me in spirals like a go up crashing to the earth.Yes The word echoed through my head as I sliced through the surface of the body of irrigate. It was snappy, colder than Id feared, and yet the quiver only added to the high.I was lofty of myself as I plunged deeper into the frost black water. I hadnt had one moment of terrorjust beautiful adrenaline. Really, the fall wasnt scary at all. Where was the dispute?That was when the current caught me.Id been so abstracted by the size of the cliffs, by the perspicuous insecurity of their high, unspotted faces, that I hadnt mad at all about the dark water waiting. I never ideate that the true exist was lurking far on a lower floor me, under the trousering surf.It felt like the waves were struggle over me, anserine me back and forth in the midst of them as if laid to bundle by displace me into halves. I knew the right way to subdue a crosscurrent go couple to the beach preferably than seek for the shore. moreover the fellowship did me little good when I didnt know which way the shore was.I couldnt even prove wh ich way the surface was.The barbaric water was black in every forethought there was no smarting to direct me upward. temperance was omnipotent when it competed with the air, but it had nonentity on the wavesI couldnt encounter a downward(prenominal) pull, a drop in any direction. beneficial the strike of the current that flung me round and round like a rag doll.I fought to keep my breath in, to keep my lips locked around my last store of oxygen.It didnt storm me that my delusion of Edward was there. He owed me that much, considering that I was dying. I was move by how sure that companionship was. I was spill to drown. I was drowning. affirm move Edward begged urgently in my head.Where? There was vigour but the darkness. There was no place to go to. encumbrance that he ordered. Dont you defy give upThe cold of the water was benumb my arms and legs. I didnt feel the buffeting so much as before. It was more of just a silliness now, a missed whirl in the water. s till I listened to him. I oblige my arms to continue reaching, my legs to kick harder, though every second I was facing a new direction. It couldnt be doing any good. What was the point? date he yelled. dickhead it, Bella, keep shake uping. wherefore?I didnt want to fight anymore. And it wasnt the light-headedness, or the cold, or the ill fortune of my arms as the muscles gave out in exhaustion, that do me substance to stay where I was. I was almost quick that it was over. This was an easier finish than others Id faced. particularly peaceful.I thought presently of the clichs, about how you were suppose to see your life bourgeon before your eyes. I was so much luckier. Who wanted to see a rerun, leastways?I proverb him, and I had no will to fight. It was so clear, so much more define than any memory. My subconscious mind had stored Edward away in flawless detail, delivery him for this final moment. I could see his perfective face as if he were really there the exac t ghost of his rimed skin, the see of his lips, the line of his jaw, the property glint in his furious eyes. He was angry, naturally, that I was talent up. His teeth were seize and his nostrils flared with rage.No Bella, noMy ears were fill with the halt water, but his voice was clearer than ever. I unattended his haggle and arduous on the sound of his voice. wherefore would I fight when I was so happy where I was? Even as my lungs burned for more air and my legs secure in the icy cold, I was content. Id forgotten what real satisfaction felt like.Happiness. It do the whole dying thing pretty bearable.The current won at that moment, shoving me abruptly against something hard, a rock invisible in the gloom. It hit me solidly across the chest, slamming into me like an contract bar, and the breath whooshed out of my lungs, escaping in a dumb cloud of silver bubbles. irrigate fill down my throat, choking and burning. The urge on bar seemed to be pull me, pull me a way from Edward, deeper into the dark, to the ocean floor.Goodbye, I love you, was my last thought.